Relationship Coaching, Present & Available

Being Present and Available

  • Amanda Wright
  • June 5, 2018

I’m challenging my office and myself to be more present and available by doing less. It seems simple but honestly we are all nervous of our success rate. Join us!

How many minutes or hours do you spend on you phone, computer, or tablet compulsively and not just for work?

Work, especially for a small business owner, can feel dependent on needing to check calls and emails and network a lot on line. That’s a whole other post for a different day. For this article I am specifically discussing leisure time online or even looking at work stuff but at times that you had decided you wouldn’t.

I inquired about this with my staff at a business meeting. I not only see a pattern of being addicted to these devices but I can also see the shame around being so dependent on the distractions technology provides.

Our cell phones are capable of so much. I can research my upcoming vacations, I can find out what my friend Leah in California is having for dinner via a call, a text, or usually Instagram or FaceBook.

We can learn about the latest school shootings, who our president has recently pissed off, what environmental disaster has happened.

Even find out if it’s going to rain all day or if I can attend an outdoor yoga class.

Even last week, I needed to confirm that the snake under my porch wasn’t poisonous. Siri, Alexa, and Mr Google always have my back. Yet sometimes it’s too much.

When I interviewed someone about their usage of data, they likened it to opening a refrigerator door – constant and mindless. It has become such a habit that there are times we don’t even realize we just opened an app.

Even Apple and Google, this week, said they are working on ways to help fix the monster they have co-created. Phone Addiction. Their new phones will have ways to for us to better log and be accountable for our time on them.

Many Couples in relationship coaching with me are seeing the effects of Phone Addiction.

Have you been at a nice dinner with someone and noticed the back of their phone more than their eyes? Have you laid in bed for an hour next to your partner while you or them or both are playing Candy Crush or scrolling through Facebook? Then maybe even comment that there isn’t enough time in the relationship for intimacy?

How can I offer great ideas and opportunities to others if I am also guilty of being plugged in when it’s not appropriate?

The first action I plan to take is to practice better self awareness and discipline. I personally need to ween myself from my phone.

People don’t need me 24/7, I can answer emails and texts during normal business hours. I don’t need to know what my friends are doing all over the world ALL DAY LONG.

 

Sometimes I disconnect when I’m out in nature or when traveling or sometimes even when sick. I wonder how many bits of joy I miss throughout the day. Peoples smiles, a flower, conversations, enjoying my food, etc. The more I think on this the longer the list gets. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t actually love technology so it’s shocking to me that I have become so addicted.

 

Everyone at Wright Now Wellness will be taking a break from technology this Thursday June 7.

No phones other than planned work calls.

I will answer work emails at 9am for 15 minutes and then again at 4pm for 15 minutes.

To continue to get back to present and available we all agreed to take it a step farther and disconnect from all technology – computers (outside of set work obligations), TV, radios, and car stereos that day.

For an added challenge some of us have even decided to abstain from using electricity at home, JUST for the day (Who’s feeding me??? lol). I have amazing hammocks and a beautiful back yard, there are many projects I could work on, neighbors and friends I can connect with.

There are so many things I get ready to do and then I make that “1 phone call” or  check that “last email” , or I need to finish reading that “important news article” and I get sucked in. Sucked in for hours. Where does all that time go???

Someone at work said that even when she goes to check an email on her phone she gets sidelined by notifications or mindless app opening.

Again it all goes back to being Present and Available. Being mindful.

 

My intention:

  • A once a month complete disconnect.
  • A daily block of time where my phone is turned off.
  • Enjoying being Present and Available more often!

I look forward to hearing about and sharing what this experience was like for all of us here at Wright Now Wellness.

I would also love to hear if Phone/Device Addiction has affected any of you?

 

2 Comments

  • Michael Ray Walker
    Michael Ray Walker
    05.06.2018

    Amanda, you have me thinking about how I can disconnect once a month from all the technology in my work/social connected world. Admittedly this is something I should consider in order to achieve some life balance and more tranquility

  • Kristina Schneider
    Kristina Schneider
    06.06.2018

    Eeekkk! This is going to be tough! I am both excited and scared about how this will turn out. I use backpacking as a way to disconnect but recently I don’t even disconnect there. I am super excited to see how much I can get done by being present and available for an entire (?) day!

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