Relationship Coaching, Present & Available

Being Present and Available

  • Amanda Wright
  • June 5, 2018

I’m challenging my office and myself to be more present and available by doing less. It seems simple but honestly we are all nervous of our success rate. Join us!

How many minutes or hours do you spend on you phone, computer, or tablet compulsively and not just for work?

Work, especially for a small business owner, can feel dependent on needing to check calls and emails and network a lot on line. That’s a whole other post for a different day. For this article I am specifically discussing leisure time online or even looking at work stuff but at times that you had decided you wouldn’t.

I inquired about this with my staff at a business meeting. I not only see a pattern of being addicted to these devices but I can also see the shame around being so dependent on the distractions technology provides.

Our cell phones are capable of so much. I can research my upcoming vacations, I can find out what my friend Leah in California is having for dinner via a call, a text, or usually Instagram or FaceBook.

We can learn about the latest school shootings, who our president has recently pissed off, what environmental disaster has happened.

Even find out if it’s going to rain all day or if I can attend an outdoor yoga class.

Even last week, I needed to confirm that the snake under my porch wasn’t poisonous. Siri, Alexa, and Mr Google always have my back. Yet sometimes it’s too much.

When I interviewed someone about their usage of data, they likened it to opening a refrigerator door – constant and mindless. It has become such a habit that there are times we don’t even realize we just opened an app.

Even Apple and Google, this week, said they are working on ways to help fix the monster they have co-created. Phone Addiction. Their new phones will have ways to for us to better log and be accountable for our time on them.

Many Couples in relationship coaching with me are seeing the effects of Phone Addiction.

Have you been at a nice dinner with someone and noticed the back of their phone more than their eyes? Have you laid in bed for an hour next to your partner while you or them or both are playing Candy Crush or scrolling through Facebook? Then maybe even comment that there isn’t enough time in the relationship for intimacy?

How can I offer great ideas and opportunities to others if I am also guilty of being plugged in when it’s not appropriate?

The first action I plan to take is to practice better self awareness and discipline. I personally need to ween myself from my phone.

People don’t need me 24/7, I can answer emails and texts during normal business hours. I don’t need to know what my friends are doing all over the world ALL DAY LONG.

 

Sometimes I disconnect when I’m out in nature or when traveling or sometimes even when sick. I wonder how many bits of joy I miss throughout the day. Peoples smiles, a flower, conversations, enjoying my food, etc. The more I think on this the longer the list gets. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t actually love technology so it’s shocking to me that I have become so addicted.

 

Everyone at Wright Now Wellness will be taking a break from technology this Thursday June 7.

No phones other than planned work calls.

I will answer work emails at 9am for 15 minutes and then again at 4pm for 15 minutes.

To continue to get back to present and available we all agreed to take it a step farther and disconnect from all technology – computers (outside of set work obligations), TV, radios, and car stereos that day.

For an added challenge some of us have even decided to abstain from using electricity at home, JUST for the day (Who’s feeding me??? lol). I have amazing hammocks and a beautiful back yard, there are many projects I could work on, neighbors and friends I can connect with.

There are so many things I get ready to do and then I make that “1 phone call” or  check that “last email” , or I need to finish reading that “important news article” and I get sucked in. Sucked in for hours. Where does all that time go???

Someone at work said that even when she goes to check an email on her phone she gets sidelined by notifications or mindless app opening.

Again it all goes back to being Present and Available. Being mindful.

 

My intention:

  • A once a month complete disconnect.
  • A daily block of time where my phone is turned off.
  • Enjoying being Present and Available more often!

I look forward to hearing about and sharing what this experience was like for all of us here at Wright Now Wellness.

I would also love to hear if Phone/Device Addiction has affected any of you?

 

Creating Intimacy, Relationship Coach, Creating Connection

Holding Space and Creating Connection

  • Amanda Wright
  • April 25, 2018

Holding Space and Creating Connection is the newest Heart of Partnership class in this 8-part series and is pretty exciting for me to be researching and planning to teach. I feel access to this information helps me as a relationship coach, as a wife, and as a partner and friend to so many people.

What it’s all about:

Many people, especially woman believe that they must choose between feeling intimacy or holding your boundary. By learning to clear, expand and hold our personal space we can honor and protect ourselves while causing more authentic connections with others.

 

This topic will weave in parts of the first two classes and expand on how to deepen connections with others and yourself. This 1-hour class will hopefully give you better skill sets to stay in the present moment and give deeper connections.

 

You don’t have to have attended the other classes to get value out of this one. They are individual classes. However, if you want to learn more, I will have the previous topics available via a recorded Zoom call or I can teach them live to you and/or your group.

 

Bonus information:

 

Thank you for everyone who has volunteered. I am so grateful to work on this together. I am a together-sharer human, so this part of the assignment fills me with joy.

 

As always, I can use a few more volunteers to research for this current topic. The information I have been gathering has been so incredible. Many of you have been very vulnerable and thoughtful with the questions. I have received insight that cleared up questions and gave me even more to think about. Email me or message me here if you wouldn’t mind chatting for about 20 minutes or so with me. You don’t have to give your name if you want to just assist me with answering a few questions.

What I learn from interviewing you allows me to be a confident speaker about the topics.

 

Relationship Coach, Heart of Partnership, Wright Now Wellness

Heart of Partnership Topic 2 – Harnessing Hallucination, Imagination, and Resistance

  • Amanda Wright
  • March 21, 2018

What I hope you take away from topic 2 during the upcoming class:

If we don’t intentionally use our imagination, our human animal brain will hallucinate usually by picturing what we don’t want, are afraid of, or dread. This undisciplined anticipation creates unnecessary resistance to our needs and desires.

On the other hand, learning to welcome the productive resistance of our partners is essential to capitalizing on their  intelligence, experience and perspective. Which can lead to more potent and powerful partnerships.

Wow, this is such an incredible topic! This one has been showing me just how much I had been avoiding resistance in certain places in my own life. I can now see that productive resistance from others can add value to my life. It can stop me from driving off a cliff, so to speak. When you only want to be around those that see your side, you actually limit what you can accomplish.

I look forward to teaching this informational class on Tuesday, March 27.  Sign up soon as I only have space in my classroom for 20 people. If you missed my first class, that’s okay, there is such great value in each of these classes individually. I will also be doing a webinar the following week for those that can’t make the live class.

Also, I am grateful for all of the responses to assist in my interviews. If you haven’t heard form me, please know that I am still in need of your assistance, I have many interviews scheduled and am still planning a few more for this topic.  There are also 6 more topics to participate in.

These interviews and the research are the backbone of the classes I am teaching. Thank you all for creating this series with me!

If you have any questions or you are curious about this topic or about upcoming classes please contact me.

-Amanda

Life Coach, Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Stepping Outside of Comfort – What Makes You Nervous?

  • Amanda Wright
  • March 8, 2018

What are you nervous to try? What are you nervous you may fail at? Is there something you are so nervous to try you don’t ever attempt?

Our brains are very fascinating to me. Mine tells me I love to try new things, yet I get so nervous about some things, that I never get the courage to try the thing.
I love travel to new places, meeting new people, reading new books, finding new music to listen to, eating at new restaurants.
Yet all of that still has a little familiarity to them.

I have just bumped up against wanting to try a new thing that doesn’t look like anything in my wheel house and this feeling always surprises me. Fear. Uncertainty.

I’ll keep you in suspense no more, I’m going to learn to play the drums. Like really loud!
I feel I have played “air drums” in my car long enough-I’m a master at that.
I have never felt musically inclined or talented. I just wanted to be a cool drummer chick since I was about 11. It has taken me this long to go for it.

On my birthday last year I finally declared out loud that I wanted to learn to play the drums. I didn’t do anything about it, just said I wanted to learn. Months later I received the lessons as a Christmas gift and each week since then I have looked at the gift card. The butterflies in my belly had stopped me from calling the school.

Today I called and booked my lessons.
I know some people, who if they don’t know how to do a thing, within a few YouTube videos, they just do it. I am in awe of those people. I am not one. I thought I was, but sadly, I am not a “let’s just see how this works out” kinda person.

My mind says things like “What if I have to have rhythm?” “What if I am not coordinated?” “What if I fail?” Those statements make me want to hide and continue to say “one day I’ll try it”, and then never do.

Yet I want to continue to grow, and learn, and play. So I will keep saying yes and not hiding. Being a motivational speaker, sometimes I have to dig deeper to motivate myself. I will be my own life coach with this. I never want something to hold me back from enjoying life. My clients and friends know I love uncovering blocks. This is mine and I’m ready to let it go!
I am posting this so that I will be held even more accountable for going to my first of 10 lessons.

Wish me luck and if you need a drummer, I may be available soon.

Relationship Coaching, Amanda Wright, Wright Now Wellness, Partnership

Relationship Wellness Classes: The Heart of Partnership

The values I cherish most are passion, fulfilled, adventure and abundance. As a relationship coach, my career gives me all of it. I am always wanting to learn and give more.

So, I am spending this year studying, researching, developing and teaching topics that get to The Heart of Partnership.  This is going to be such an amazing journey for me. I am in a mastermind group working to create long lasting partnerships and I need your help.

If you are ready to transform your current relationship with your beloved, your family and/or your friends, join me on this journey.  I will need to interview at least 20 people, per topic. I will learn a new topic every 8 weeks or so.

The interview will take about 20-30 minutes and can be done via phone. The questions will be about your own perspective on what I’m learning.

I can interview you for just one or a few of the topics. I would like to keep my research diverse so getting viewpoints from many different people and backgrounds is best.

If you are interested in being part of my research and development team, please email me for all the juicy details.

I will also be teaching and coaching classes every few weeks. You can come to all of them or just a few or even just one.

They do not all have to be attended for you to get value. We will go deep into what creates partnership within your personal life.

You don’t have to attend the class if you want to be a part of my research, although it would be fun!

The classes will mostly be held in person at my office in Virginia. I will be offering some remotely as well. Still figuring out logistics on that part.

Here is the link to Wright Now Wellness for the current topic class you can attend. There is limited seating so I would appreciate if you sign up in advance.

Whether you are researching with  me or coming to my class, I am excited and grateful to partner with you to learn such transformational information.

 

*UPDATE*

Thank you all who participated in my interviews or classes for Topic 1 of the Heart of Partnership Series. I was required to teach this topic to my trainer so that I could prove I understood the material. I PASSED the first topic! I am learning and growing and teaching this information. It’s fun having so many of you on this journey with me. The new topic is coming out later today. Stay tuned!

Sexual Consent & Boundaries

Sexual Consent & Boundaries In The News | Relationship Healing

I am grateful for all the conversations that are happening about sexual consent & boundaries and sexual education. I have been studying, teaching and partnering with women and men for years.  I know many of you have come to my wellness events on these things for the past decade.  I was sad when I first heard something about Aziz Ansari and sexual misconduct.  I believe my first response was “Dang it, another one.”  I didn’t even read about it.  Then I read about people taking a stand against “Grace”, the victim.  I heard she didn’t leave earlier. She continued to go along with things, even though she said no.  Now mostly I heard from women.  All these comments came from women.

I wanted to understand this a little better.  As anyone who knows me can vouch, I love understanding human behavior.  I have many different opinions about this.  My first post, I thought, should be my vulnerable share.  How I feel.

So my first thoughts that came up about women deciding that she didn’t stand up and leave earlier are these;

A lot of women,  (not all-please don’t try on the shoe if you feel it doesn’t fit) NEEDED her to leave earlier because they have been in that situation.  We have been on a date and it escalated quicker than we wanted.  They decided it was a sex date not a get to know you date.  We did speak up.  We did give our non verbal communications to slow down.  We did do things, we caved.  It may have felt easier, it may have felt like the nice thing to do, or it just felt safer for us to.

Sometimes when we are told to lighten up or that sex is just fun. We want to believe that, even though we know deep down it isn’t what we want or are ready for.

Sometimes we may think maybe I didn’t give him enough cues because we know that if we pushed something on someone and they said no, we would stop.  So obviously, we need to try to say NO a different way.

We may have wanted “Grace” to leave the situation earlier so that we too know it’s okay to leave earlier.  We want to know we aren’t prudish or rude to do so.  We don’t have to people please.  We don’t have to worry about his “blue balls”.  We shouldn’t have to be worried for our safety to leave when he expects sex.

Men when sexually aroused can seem scary and single focused.  I think her leaving that date at all, took courage.

There is a whole other side to this I want to explore.  How did he not see or care to see what was happening on her end?  What are we teaching boys?  What have men been allowed to get away with?  This is a human issue.  This is what all of these public situations are illuminating for us.  We can change how we do, see, teach, and handle sexual energy, boundaries and communication.  I am committed to this.  It’s my life work.

My life coaching practice, my conscious sexuality practice, and my relationship healing practice came from a passion for us all to be seen and respected.  I want to be part of the solution.  I desire to continue to talk about what needs to be done.

If you feel triggered on issues surrounding consent, boundaries, men, trauma, I am here and open to hold space for you.

Men, I am always open to hear your opinions, your side to all of this.  Do you have thoughts about Aziz Ansari or any of the men in the limelight?  Please reach out to me and know I want to hear from you.

 

We are love

Amanda

Related Corporate Training Topic: Consent in the Workplace.  Wellness Speaker & Relationship Coach Amanda Wright conducts a a workshop & speaking engagement on the topic of Consent in the Workplace. Contact us for more information and to schedule an event.

Photo of Krissy Schneider

Welcome Cuddle Specialist Krissy Schneider | Richmond VA Cuddle Sessions & Cuddle Parties

I am so pleased  to announce that Krissy Schneider became certified through Wright Now Wellness to be our Cuddle Specialist Extraordinaire!

Some of you may wonder why you may want to set up a session to connect and cuddle with someone.  Many people have busy lives that do not permit time to find much human connection in their personal life.  It could be because of the hours they work, or because of the travel they have to do  and some people may find it challenging to ask the people in their lives to share quality time.  While some people believe that you can only cuddle with a sexual partner that is a limiting belief and excludes many from a basic human desire – touch.

Maybe you are an introvert who recognizes your need for human interaction and connection for just a little bit.  Some people have a love language of touch and/or quality time and really want to feel more love.  This is a guilt free way to have connection, in a safe place that allows you to be yourself.

Session can include talking, cuddling, playing games, walking or stretching, and other fun activities! Contact us for more information about cuddle sessions, cuddle parties, why we need touch or to book an cuddle appointment.

 

For Dori Orr, A coin to mark our travels

Amanda & Dori’s Adventure, Part 2

2 weeks after I picked up her ashes – I found the perfect wooden box for her. It came from Hawaii fit my hand. I had to look up the protocol for bringing ashes on planes, through customs in foreign countries. I’m still a little unclear, but so far I haven’t been detained. So begins the adventure of Amanda and Dori Orr.

Our first trip she went with me while I volunteered in Namibia, building walls around water tanks to keep the peace between farmers and elephants. She went on official game counts for the government of Namibia to assist in census of their animals. We then went to South Africa to spend days watching elephants and other incredible creatures roam. I left some of her ashes off the coast of Africa in the Atlantic Ocean. An ocean she knew well. I told her I would race her back to the East Coast of America to see if her ashes or I made it there first.

It was a full moon and I was in a town called Swakopmund. I couldn’t have planned a more clear and beautiful night to release her ashes. I learned something that night. Ashes off the shore line don’t actually blow easily into the water. The wind and the water spray don’t make it as easy as it looks in the movies. I think I ended up with more of Dori’s ashes in my nose and eyes than in the water. That’s about right for her and I. We weren’t ever called graceful for sure.

Dori loved studying places and people and animals.

In this life she would have been saddened by the issues Africa faces. She also fought and protested for what was right.

She would have been excited to see elephants and giraffes and hippos and lions and snakes all in the wild. Conservation and nature is what she taught her children to respect.

She would have loved sleeping under the stars and seeing all that Africa offered firsthand. I’m grateful she is still with me.

This was the first adventure of many this year.

I wrote about them all. Alaska, Canada, Scotland, Ireland, and England. I didn’t get much better at getting the ashes in the water, but I hear her laugh every time I mess it up.

I do know she would have been without carrying her ashes with me. There is just something healing and therapeutic about physically having a part of her on my journeys. There will always be a piece that grieves for Dori in this life. This just reminds me to celebrate her.

I hope for those that grieve that you can find the things that give you a little peace.

NOTE: As a Certified Life Coach of over 15 years, I’ve helped people with grief recovery. Please contact me if you’re dealing with grief of any kind – it would be my honor to work with you. Or check my events calendar for upcoming wellness events by Wright Now Wellness.

Another travel coin for Dori Orr

“I will keep you with me on all my adventures”… for Dori Orr, Part 1

My beautiful friend Dori Orr  unexpectedly passed away in May 2015. I got the call while landing in Salt Lake City, my layover for my trip to California for a family celebration. As any of you who have experienced loss of a friend or loved one knows,  your world becomes shaky and blurry for a while. I vaguely remember turning right around to fly home, the memorial we put together or the encouraging words I said or heard from mutual friends and loved ones.

I do remember panicking about what the correct feeling or response her young children should or shouldn’t be having. I do remember yelling and screaming and then realizing I don’t actually know an adults “correct” response and that I had no idea how children should feel. I wanted to be there for her husband yet every time I saw him the pain seemed to intensify. I was a rough first year. I missed her so much.

2 years later on Her Month – the month of her birth, her anniversary and her death – I decided to start a lifetime of adventures with Dori. I wanted her to see the world with me. I awkwardly asked her husband for some of her ashes. He immediately agreed and so started my healing.

She loved travel. She LOVED water; I think she was actually a mermaid. In her life we didn’t travel as much together as we wanted. She was a home school teacher, raised chickens, and did massage from home…and anything creative or artistic you could think of.

So a few great beach trips, a few mountain trips, a few concerts and lots of nights at her house, that was our short decade together.

I was excited and nervous and surprisingly comfortable to go pick up her ashes and start our travels together. It’s what we always talked about.

I picked her up on her birthday and made this promise:

I will let your toes touch every magical body of water around the world I can get to. I will release a few ashes in each of them. I will keep you with me on all my adventures. I will think of you at every amazing place and event I experience. I love you in all your forms-life, spirit and ashes.

So my next post, I would love to share the adventures of Dori and I of 2017. We have been around the world and had some amazing adventures, just as she always wanted. I cannot express the healing that has come from all of this.

Wright Now Wellness, Ultimate Retreat

Women’s Healing & Growth Advocate, Activist and Volunteer

As an Army veteran and an Integrated Wellness Coach, I believe wisdom comes from the intersection of knowledge and experience. As an impassioned advocate for women’s healing, growth, empowerment, and transformation, I am honored to share her wisdom through private teaching and as an international wellness speaker. My work in the wellness field is based on women’s healing – and I am always seeking new ways to learn and grow.

As women we are called upon to play countless roles.

We may be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a provider, a protector, soldier, a confidant, and so many more. Answering those calls often leaves us with little time or energy to know who we are or what we need. I have made it a priority in my profession to work with all women.

I know firsthand the different struggles we, as women, can face in our lives. My desire is to teach and lessen the impact these struggles have on us. 

Through volunteer work with a local domestic abuse organization that recently opened its doors to house victims of sex trafficking, I see the many ways people need to heal and the impact we make by support our communities.

The healing modalities that I’ve acquired aren’t just theoretical for me. Each healing certification has fueled my personal transformation, allowing me to create a life of confidence, joy, abundance and ease. I am inspired in my own journey to show women how easily they can have the life they want.

I felt the call to travel to Standing Rock twice in 2016. Both were life altering experiences. The first time was as a massage therapist to offer reprieve to those that had been protecting water and land for months beforehand. There I learned community and a matriarchal way of life.

The second time as a veteran was a different experience. It showed me the true strength of what people can accomplish with just numbers, peace, and the desire to assist those who need support. It allowed me to have faith that a community, not a government body, could lead and accomplish intended actions.

Most recently, I joined the thousands of people from around the globe in Women’s March 2017 to take action as an advocate for healing, community and strength for women everywhere.  

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