Relationship Coaching, Present & Available

Being Present and Available

  • Amanda Wright
  • June 5, 2018

I’m challenging my office and myself to be more present and available by doing less. It seems simple but honestly we are all nervous of our success rate. Join us!

How many minutes or hours do you spend on you phone, computer, or tablet compulsively and not just for work?

Work, especially for a small business owner, can feel dependent on needing to check calls and emails and network a lot on line. That’s a whole other post for a different day. For this article I am specifically discussing leisure time online or even looking at work stuff but at times that you had decided you wouldn’t.

I inquired about this with my staff at a business meeting. I not only see a pattern of being addicted to these devices but I can also see the shame around being so dependent on the distractions technology provides.

Our cell phones are capable of so much. I can research my upcoming vacations, I can find out what my friend Leah in California is having for dinner via a call, a text, or usually Instagram or FaceBook.

We can learn about the latest school shootings, who our president has recently pissed off, what environmental disaster has happened.

Even find out if it’s going to rain all day or if I can attend an outdoor yoga class.

Even last week, I needed to confirm that the snake under my porch wasn’t poisonous. Siri, Alexa, and Mr Google always have my back. Yet sometimes it’s too much.

When I interviewed someone about their usage of data, they likened it to opening a refrigerator door – constant and mindless. It has become such a habit that there are times we don’t even realize we just opened an app.

Even Apple and Google, this week, said they are working on ways to help fix the monster they have co-created. Phone Addiction. Their new phones will have ways to for us to better log and be accountable for our time on them.

Many Couples in relationship coaching with me are seeing the effects of Phone Addiction.

Have you been at a nice dinner with someone and noticed the back of their phone more than their eyes? Have you laid in bed for an hour next to your partner while you or them or both are playing Candy Crush or scrolling through Facebook? Then maybe even comment that there isn’t enough time in the relationship for intimacy?

How can I offer great ideas and opportunities to others if I am also guilty of being plugged in when it’s not appropriate?

The first action I plan to take is to practice better self awareness and discipline. I personally need to ween myself from my phone.

People don’t need me 24/7, I can answer emails and texts during normal business hours. I don’t need to know what my friends are doing all over the world ALL DAY LONG.

 

Sometimes I disconnect when I’m out in nature or when traveling or sometimes even when sick. I wonder how many bits of joy I miss throughout the day. Peoples smiles, a flower, conversations, enjoying my food, etc. The more I think on this the longer the list gets. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t actually love technology so it’s shocking to me that I have become so addicted.

 

Everyone at Wright Now Wellness will be taking a break from technology this Thursday June 7.

No phones other than planned work calls.

I will answer work emails at 9am for 15 minutes and then again at 4pm for 15 minutes.

To continue to get back to present and available we all agreed to take it a step farther and disconnect from all technology – computers (outside of set work obligations), TV, radios, and car stereos that day.

For an added challenge some of us have even decided to abstain from using electricity at home, JUST for the day (Who’s feeding me??? lol). I have amazing hammocks and a beautiful back yard, there are many projects I could work on, neighbors and friends I can connect with.

There are so many things I get ready to do and then I make that “1 phone call” or  check that “last email” , or I need to finish reading that “important news article” and I get sucked in. Sucked in for hours. Where does all that time go???

Someone at work said that even when she goes to check an email on her phone she gets sidelined by notifications or mindless app opening.

Again it all goes back to being Present and Available. Being mindful.

 

My intention:

  • A once a month complete disconnect.
  • A daily block of time where my phone is turned off.
  • Enjoying being Present and Available more often!

I look forward to hearing about and sharing what this experience was like for all of us here at Wright Now Wellness.

I would also love to hear if Phone/Device Addiction has affected any of you?

 

Creating Intimacy, Relationship Coach, Creating Connection

Holding Space and Creating Connection

  • Amanda Wright
  • April 25, 2018

Holding Space and Creating Connection is the newest Heart of Partnership class in this 8-part series and is pretty exciting for me to be researching and planning to teach. I feel access to this information helps me as a relationship coach, as a wife, and as a partner and friend to so many people.

What it’s all about:

Many people, especially woman believe that they must choose between feeling intimacy or holding your boundary. By learning to clear, expand and hold our personal space we can honor and protect ourselves while causing more authentic connections with others.

 

This topic will weave in parts of the first two classes and expand on how to deepen connections with others and yourself. This 1-hour class will hopefully give you better skill sets to stay in the present moment and give deeper connections.

 

You don’t have to have attended the other classes to get value out of this one. They are individual classes. However, if you want to learn more, I will have the previous topics available via a recorded Zoom call or I can teach them live to you and/or your group.

 

Bonus information:

 

Thank you for everyone who has volunteered. I am so grateful to work on this together. I am a together-sharer human, so this part of the assignment fills me with joy.

 

As always, I can use a few more volunteers to research for this current topic. The information I have been gathering has been so incredible. Many of you have been very vulnerable and thoughtful with the questions. I have received insight that cleared up questions and gave me even more to think about. Email me or message me here if you wouldn’t mind chatting for about 20 minutes or so with me. You don’t have to give your name if you want to just assist me with answering a few questions.

What I learn from interviewing you allows me to be a confident speaker about the topics.

 

Relationship Coach, Heart of Partnership, Wright Now Wellness

Heart of Partnership Topic 2 – Harnessing Hallucination, Imagination, and Resistance

  • Amanda Wright
  • March 21, 2018

What I hope you take away from topic 2 during the upcoming class:

If we don’t intentionally use our imagination, our human animal brain will hallucinate usually by picturing what we don’t want, are afraid of, or dread. This undisciplined anticipation creates unnecessary resistance to our needs and desires.

On the other hand, learning to welcome the productive resistance of our partners is essential to capitalizing on their  intelligence, experience and perspective. Which can lead to more potent and powerful partnerships.

Wow, this is such an incredible topic! This one has been showing me just how much I had been avoiding resistance in certain places in my own life. I can now see that productive resistance from others can add value to my life. It can stop me from driving off a cliff, so to speak. When you only want to be around those that see your side, you actually limit what you can accomplish.

I look forward to teaching this informational class on Tuesday, March 27.  Sign up soon as I only have space in my classroom for 20 people. If you missed my first class, that’s okay, there is such great value in each of these classes individually. I will also be doing a webinar the following week for those that can’t make the live class.

Also, I am grateful for all of the responses to assist in my interviews. If you haven’t heard form me, please know that I am still in need of your assistance, I have many interviews scheduled and am still planning a few more for this topic.  There are also 6 more topics to participate in.

These interviews and the research are the backbone of the classes I am teaching. Thank you all for creating this series with me!

If you have any questions or you are curious about this topic or about upcoming classes please contact me.

-Amanda

Life Coach, Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Stepping Outside of Comfort – What Makes You Nervous?

  • Amanda Wright
  • March 8, 2018

What are you nervous to try? What are you nervous you may fail at? Is there something you are so nervous to try you don’t ever attempt?

Our brains are very fascinating to me. Mine tells me I love to try new things, yet I get so nervous about some things, that I never get the courage to try the thing.
I love travel to new places, meeting new people, reading new books, finding new music to listen to, eating at new restaurants.
Yet all of that still has a little familiarity to them.

I have just bumped up against wanting to try a new thing that doesn’t look like anything in my wheel house and this feeling always surprises me. Fear. Uncertainty.

I’ll keep you in suspense no more, I’m going to learn to play the drums. Like really loud!
I feel I have played “air drums” in my car long enough-I’m a master at that.
I have never felt musically inclined or talented. I just wanted to be a cool drummer chick since I was about 11. It has taken me this long to go for it.

On my birthday last year I finally declared out loud that I wanted to learn to play the drums. I didn’t do anything about it, just said I wanted to learn. Months later I received the lessons as a Christmas gift and each week since then I have looked at the gift card. The butterflies in my belly had stopped me from calling the school.

Today I called and booked my lessons.
I know some people, who if they don’t know how to do a thing, within a few YouTube videos, they just do it. I am in awe of those people. I am not one. I thought I was, but sadly, I am not a “let’s just see how this works out” kinda person.

My mind says things like “What if I have to have rhythm?” “What if I am not coordinated?” “What if I fail?” Those statements make me want to hide and continue to say “one day I’ll try it”, and then never do.

Yet I want to continue to grow, and learn, and play. So I will keep saying yes and not hiding. Being a motivational speaker, sometimes I have to dig deeper to motivate myself. I will be my own life coach with this. I never want something to hold me back from enjoying life. My clients and friends know I love uncovering blocks. This is mine and I’m ready to let it go!
I am posting this so that I will be held even more accountable for going to my first of 10 lessons.

Wish me luck and if you need a drummer, I may be available soon.